It is inevitable that we fall in love, at least once in our lifetime, and with some people a lot more. We love that person very much and we live a full and happy life. We continue each day, with that person in our lives and we enjoy our time together.
But there comes a time whether it is through separation, divorce, personal circumstances or death that we are left alone. In the depths of our hearts we suffer the agony of not seeing them again. It hurts, and it leaves us lonely. Whatever will happen to us?
It is through these times we realize how much we loved them. We are burdened with a big hole in our hearts that cannot be filled with empty promises, or a gallon of beer. It’s a hole that envelops our spirits and denies us the pleasure we once shared. We miss that person we cared so much about.
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It does not help to hear messages of sympathy from our friends and it pains us to do the usual things we have always done each day without them in our lives. But life must go on, and we must learn to leave that part of our soul to the ghosts of the past.
From here on in, you try to get back to life. You get up in the morning, take your shower and eat your breakfast. Each tiny step is a reminder of what it used to be like having them there. You hop in the car and travel to work where you remain for the next 8 hours. Then once work has finished you hop back in the car to go home to a lonely house. You begin to live a half lived life but you get through. The odd visit from well meaning friends raises your spirits and the offer of a night out tempts you a bit. You’re lonely but you’re definitely not out.
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If you are in this position right now, I completely understand. I know how hard it is to be even a little bit interested in life let alone try and keep up appearances. I know from experience and maybe you do too, that time is the biggest healer and that your heart will mend. If you are experiencing this then do please take the time to read through these methods that will help you mend your broken heart.
- Accept the pain, learn to live with it and it will go away
Hard as it may seem, you have to grieve. There is no easy shortcut and there is no certain amount of time you do this for. Each person is different and we all have different needs and desires. Instead of looking at ways to fill the void from the emptiness, take it on board and deal with the pain. It is one of the hardest things to do but it is essential for your wellbeing later down the track. Somehow, in the future, you will feel less pain, and you will go through periods of normality. Let your feelings flow.
Do not repress the tears or the memories. Instead, let them wash through your body. You will feel momentary periods of relief and you will see flickers of happiness. Throughout this whole experience you will learn new things about yourself and you will learn that you do have the strength to cope with this. Be kind to yourself, understand that this is a temporary thing and that life will present new things and doors will begin to open again. There will always be periods in our lives where we experience loss, but it is the way we deal with it that will set us apart. Show yourself a little sympathy and let the grieving process do its bit.
- Regain your independence and autonomy
Treat this time of uncertainty that this will spark a whole new beginning. You have the power to regain your independence by starting to get back what you lost in the relationship. You can focus all your energies on your job or career, on your family, on your friends or on your ideals. Remember through these tough months you can get back to normality and you can be happy again. Try and put your strength into your heart and let go of those horrible feelings. Grief can make us do terrible things but strength of heart can resolve this. Use these feelings to move forward.
By focusing on other parts of your life you will notice small changes. You will grow in confidence and the lackluster for life will dissolve. Get new interests and hobbies. Join a few groups. Focus on every other aspect of your life and you will be slowly replenishing your spirit. You deserve this. You deserve patience and understanding. Regain your independence.
- List your strengths and think about the future that looks bright and positive
Take a long hard look at yourself. You are a unique and beautiful person. You deserve so much more in life and you will get it. While you are grieving make a list of all those things, whether they are big or small, and list down your strengths. Are you a great listener? Do you always like your home tidy? Are you always on time when you promise to be somewhere? Are you a good friend? Are you successful? No matter if they are huge things or tiny insignificant traits, lists down your strengths.
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This will help you see what a great person you are and why you deserve a life of love and happiness. It is when we are positive about ourselves that we realize we can live without our ex lover. And we are attractive and approachable to other people. Doing this exercise will help you gain a little insight to your character or your heart and will help you grieve that much faster.
If you practice fantasizing of something or someone it will help you with the grieving process. Being creative and opening up that side of your mind, you will feel more equipped to handle the affairs you are currently dealing with. Pain will just be a memory, as when you fantasize you create pictures in your mind of what is going on.
This process helps you to relax and lets your mind wander off. It is perfectly natural to fantasize and it is natural to fantasize about other people or even the one who left you. It doesn’t mean you want it to come true. It just means it is a mental exercise you can perform to release some tension. The beauty of fantasizing is that you can imagine anything to happen. It helps you to come to terms with your heartache.
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- You could try helping someone out to make yourself happier
When you are feeling particularly downhearted and you need a boost, do the best thing that will help the situation and give someone else some loving attention. Help someone out. This is the only medicine that kills two birds with one stone. Not only will you feel great for a moment that you helped someone out, your friend or neighbor will feel absolutely overwhelmed by your generosity of spirit and your sensitivity.
You will gain a much deeper and rewarding relationship and you will discover what friends mean in the true sense of the word. I know when I help someone out it makes me feel good. I love to give and I also love to receive. A smile and a little kindness can go a long way. So do not overlook this simple act. It will help you feel grateful for your life even though it is hard at the moment.
- Watch funny movies and talk with funny people
Go and grab that funny movie or invite one of your funny friends around. Revisit funny moments you have shared together. Laughter is the best medicine known to man and is fantastic for releasing emotional stress. If you happen to be the kind of person to laugh and cry then take this opportunity to do this. Laughing and crying helps you grieve in a very emotional way. You can feel a whole lot better from doing just that. It has also been documented by a famous biochemist that crying can rid your body of toxins which in effect relieves emotional stress.
- Try a little sport or fitness exercise and meet new friends
Funny as it sounds, physically getting rid of all that extra tension by running or boxing can work out great. Try keeping yourself busy and build fitness at the same time. If you are feeling particularly low and you want to exert some excess energy then take a look at your local gym and see what programs they have available. Sign up for something which will keep you occupied for the next few weeks. Not only will you achieve a great sense of satisfaction, you will learn to appreciate your body more and have more confidence in general. I know exercise is great in life on the whole so adopting new patterns will help you keep your mind off your ex lover.
If a few of your old friends are connected to your ex lover then why not open a new world of opportunities and try and meet some new people. If you have followed the advice of going to a gym you could kill two birds with one and meet someone new as well. There is nothing worse than going over old friendships with people who knew your ex. This can make you remember them and will make you feel hurt. Why not go to that new coffee shop or join that book reading club. Get back to life and try and enjoy meeting new people.
- Try a little hope and note things that cheer you up
Hope is a wondrous feeling to have. It has the power to heal all wounds and replace it with the zest for life. Without hope we live in a dark, lonely place but with it we can conquer the world. Hope is a delicate feeling that needs no external validation. It is what it is. If you are feeling at the depths of despair, remember that a little hope can be the beacon to your life. It will change you and give you the strength to go on.
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If you truly doubt yourself then you will inevitably suffer more. Do not neglect yourself. Instead make a list of everything that makes you happy and feel good about yourself. And try and incorporate the people and the things that make you feel great. Do not surround yourself with negative emotions. Try and replace them with positive people and positive experiences.
So these are the methods I would personally choose to help mend my broken heart. The most important thing to remember is that you are special. You are wanted in life and the people who care about you want the very best for you. You cannot go through life without a scrape or two but you can deal with the emotions and be kind to yourself. In fact being kind to yourself is the key. If you are not the kind of person to care for yourself pretend that you are caring for another. Be gentle and understanding. Don’t put yourself in precarious situations.
Take a little time off to reflect on life and how good it has been in the past. And be thankful for experiencing the greatest love in your life. In time you will forget the pain and the hurt will vanish leaving a happy and content person. You will realize that there is still bright future for you, because you will be armed with great dating system that will help you attract lovely partners. Read the review and download The Tao of Badass System in here. In time all wounds will heal, and will be gone ready for the next love in your life.
These methods are the best known ways to go through the grieving process. It is hard I know and you can have bad days but how you view life will ultimately have a bearing on what you will feel. So be free, be kind and be gentle.
- 12 ways to mend a broken heart – NetDoctor.co.uk – The UK’s leading independent health website
- 10 steps to heal a broken heart | Mail Online
- How to Fix a Broken Heart - WebMd