You would think that to reduce your anxiety of approaching women you would need to eliminate your fear. But it really isn’t even about that. There are men who are just as afraid as you are yet they manage to approach women with what looks like complete confidence. The main difference in men who are fearful of approaching women, and those who embrace it has to do with their viewpoint of fear.
Think of the first time you did something that gave you an adrenaline rush. Skydiving, roller coaster rides, or the high you feel from doing your favorite hobby.
Make sure to read reasons why women reject men: Top 12 Reasons Why Women Reject Men And What To Do About It then come back. I know you will like it.
Use The Fear
Your hero is probably the guy who can approach any woman at any time. That guy has a secret that you can master if you focus on it. Guys who are great at approaching women use the adrenaline fear gives them to their advantage.
Whatever it is that you find excitement in, you can get the same rush in approaching women.
Instead of allowing the thought of going to the bar tonight and approaching some attractive women cause you anxiety, allow it to pump you up. When you start to think about the possibility of getting an amazing payoff in the form of dates, or even flirty conversations with women, your fear should subside.
In its place you will find the same excitement you get watching your team annihilate their opponent on the football field. Hunter S. Thompson once said, “Anything that gets your blood racing is probably worth doing.”
Make sure to watch this FABULOUS Video about approaching:
Master these skills and upgrade your sex life: 14 Tips To Improve Your Sex Life And Make You A Better Lover
How to Make Your Approach
A lot of guys try to act “smooth” when approaching a woman they have never met.
The logic is that if they do that and the woman happens to reject them, they can blame their rejection on the “act” or the “line”. In reality they should place the blame on themselves. Men who do this don’t understand the real reason they tanked is because they used an act or a line in the first place.
Make sure to read How To Get A Girl To Like You: The Ultimate Guide For 2013 in order to learn advanced techniques to get her attracted to you.
“Women aren’t stupid, especially those attractive women who have heard your line a thousand times before. They are perceptive; they know genuine when they see it. If you come at them with anything less than genuine interest you will be shot down quicker than you can rehearse your line in your head.”
It’s All In The Mindset
You and your best friend have probably played one-n-one. You are out there trying to make a basket, and prevent him from doing the same. You put your skills against one another. You have to think ahead, is he going to fake right or try a jump shot? The same principle applies here. Have a well thought out game plan, while trying not to over think things.
Guess what women know that you don’t? It takes a man with a LOT more courage to approach her as himself, than it does to approach her with a line. Approaching a woman with a line only tells her that you found her physically attractive. Approach her being yourself and that means that you are interested in getting to know her better, in spending time with her, and yes even dating her.
Give Her What She Wants
Being yourself as you approach women exudes confidence and honesty; two top things on the list of what women want. If you give women what they want you will almost never get rejected because she will see that you are making an effort to have the qualities she is looking for. So does this mean you should never use “lines”?
This doesn’t mean that you should NEVER use lines. Lines are a great way to find your sea legs when you first begin approaching women in a new way. But pick up lines should never find a permanent place in your dating arsenal. Take the lines you start out with and build a technique centered on you and your personality. Use them as training wheels, to be taken off once you find the technique that works for you.
We all know that this is the source of your fear and anxiety. No one likes to be rejected, especially in front of others. You feel like she’s shouting. “Hey you’re not good enough, tall enough, and handsome enough”. You can really fill in the blank on that one to reflect you own self-depreciating thoughts. The thing is you don’t know WHAT her definition of handsome, tall, or even good enough is. Still rejection hurts. And when you feel that sting you have two choices:
1- You can let it destroy you… and your chances of meeting a woman and having a great relationship.
2- You can let it motivate you… and increase your chances of meeting the women you desire.
What If She Has Attitude?
A burning question for most men is how to handle it if a woman has attitude when he approaches her. Does he need to invest a little bit of time, or consider his approach tanked and move on?
Here is where knowing a little bit about women helps. Women, especially attractive women get hit on more times than you can imagine. Estimate the amount of times you think a woman gets hit on and multiply it by ten. Your estimate will always be lower than the actual times she is hit on because you assume attractive women would not be approached by a certain type of guy. In reality if those types of guys have confidence, they probably have hit on her.
Check out the guide to telltale signs that she is interested: How To Tell If A Girl Likes You – 4 Signs That Show The Truth
Because of this women often go on autopilot when it comes to rejecting advances. It is their automatic response anytime a man hits on her. This has nothing to do with you or your approach. It has to do with all the other idiots that came before you. They have put her in a defensive mode so that no matter who it is, or what they say, her first response is “No, Thank you”.
Something to Think About
When you do not let her attitude turn you away you have passed the first test. Her screening system is in place and you have made it past the first round. Passing that first round is the only way you are going to be able to engage with her.
Find out what are the best places to find the most attractive girls in here: The 7 Best Places to Meet Attractive Women
If a woman has this type of screening for guys that usually means that she is accustomed to meeting guys who can’t handle who she is. They chicken out and can’t take the fact that she has her own thoughts and ideas.
Now, not all women are like this. But here’s a little secret about those who are:
Women who employ this tactic are very hard to get to know for most men. So a man who can come past her defenses becomes a rare jewel for her. She remembers all the losers that came before you and how they couldn’t handle her. The fact that you stuck it out, and stayed with it, means that you are in.
A great chick flick you should rent is Gone with the Wind. Scarlett O’Hara was a straight up diva, and anything but nice to Rhett Butler. He didn’t back out, he took it all in stride because he knew it was just an act. He saw through her and knew that deep down she was totally in love with him.
Remember that when you come across a woman who shows “attitude.”
She needs to know that you understand that she has to get rid of the chickens somehow, and you respect that this is how she has chosen to do that. One other thing that she HAS to know is that if she knew you that she would fall for you instantly.
Improve your confidence with these advanced techniques: Essential Self Confidence Tips For Men When Dating
Of course you can’t say that to her, unless you wanna take a walk back to your table with you tail between your legs. This is why it is so important to have developed your own technique. Your technique should say this to her without you having to utter a word. With women who have attitude, absolutely give them another shot to allow you a second chance. Once you do that you will be surprised to realize that she will see that you are not like all the other losers, and you will find yourself in the driver’s seat.
For Every Woman You Approach
It’s important to be generous and thoughtful with the women in your life. It doesn’t matter if you are approaching an attractive lady in a bar, or behind someone in the grocery. Women notice you as much as you notice them. If you are being rude to the teenager in the checkout line, and there is an attractive woman nearby, believe me when I tell you she will remember your face.
If you want to make your relationship healthy and strong, consult: 15 Strategies To Maintain Strong and Healthy Relationship
Women take notice of the considerate acts that we do. No matter where you are if you act like your trying to impress a very special lady you may do just that. At that point she may be able to completely eliminate all your fears by approaching you!
Further reading about approaching girls:
- 7 Ways To Approach Women – AskMen
- The 7 Deadly Mistakes of Approaching A Woman That Will Turn Her Off Instantly – Get Girls Not Game
- How To Approach A Woman, According To Women On Reddit
- 10 Tips On How To Approach Women The Easy Way