Cute love status for her and him
Category : General
What criteria, what signs do we assure that we really love? If, like Jean Cocteau, we think that there is no love, but only “proofs of love”, what is it that then proves?
Faithfulness ? No. Fidelity is a matter of temperament, of personal ethics, of relation to the body, but does not prove anything about the Cute Love Status that one feels or not for one’s spouse. We know well that sexual desire for a person can fall and love, stay. The memory of anniversary dates? The gift offering? The desire to spend as much time as possible with the other? No, for here too there is no question of character, of taste, of education.
The upheaval Cuteness
So how do we know we love? “First of all, do not confuse being in love and love, says the writer Michel Cazenave (author of History of passion , Lebaud 2001). At first they present themselves in the same way, a sort of overturning of the whole being, of which the Phaedra of Racine gives an account by this status: “I see it, I blush, I turn pale at its sight.” A paroxystic and somewhat theatrical state, neurologists and psychiatrists equate it with obsessive neuroses. It lasts six months, a maximum of one year.
“Then comes the truth of feeling,” continues Michel Cazenave. When this runaway is transformed, we realize then that what is important for us is no longer our little person and the pleasure that we derive from our partner, but the other, become indispensable as if he had our vital principle . “
Time will reveal so if it is or not Cute Love Status. But what other proofs?
“With Irene, I was attentive to what I said when, usually, with women, I’m more of the carefree kind and player,” says Georges. I did not want to spread my life but, on the contrary, to maintain a secret garden in order to protect her from what could have hurt her. I feel respect for her, and I know that I love her because I make efforts to keep her. Laurence, for her part, relates that “some days I no longer know if I love Herve; I feel indifferent. Then, thanks to a gesture which he makes that status on love, as banal as passing his hand through his hair, or to a reflection he makes, in that language which only I can understand, I am troubled and moved. I know then that love is there, even if it sometimes becomes imperceptible. “
Time, respect, trouble, the evidence varies with the will of the individuals. “But above all, they do not prove anything,” says Alain Guy, a psychoanalyst and professor at Paris VIII. They are an attempt to know something of Cute Love Status, whereas love and knowledge are two notions that are opposed. Love is a magic, something incongruous that arises in existence and which is of the order of the unconscious, of the unconscious. So it has nothing to do with reason.